1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
 
Stupid Question: Hey, what are you doing here?
 
Answer: Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.
 
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2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
 
Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt?
 
Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia. Why don't you try again?
 
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3. At a funeral: One of the teary eyed people ask...
 
Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.
 
Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?
 
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4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
 
Stupid Question: Is the "Paneer Butter Masala" dish good?
 
Answer: No, it’s terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit on it.
 
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5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years.
 
Stupid Question: Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
 
Answer: Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
 
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6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
 
Stupid Question: Is the guy you're marrying well?
 
Answer: No, he's a miserable wife beating, insensitive lout...it's just the money.
 
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7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
 
Stupid Question: Sorry. Were you sleeping?
 
Answer: No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not.
 
And you thought I was sleeping.... You dumb witted moron.
 
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8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
 
Stupid Question: Hey have you had a haircut?
 
Answer: No, its autumn and I'm shedding.
 
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9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
 
Stupid Question: Tell me if it hurts?
 
Answer: No it won’t. It will just bleed.
 
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10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
 
Stupid Question: Oh, so you smoke.
 
Answer: Gosh, it's a miracle ...it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!     

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